Abortion didn’t solve my problems, it only created more. I am still a mother, it’s just that my three children are dead.
My name is Luana Stoltenberg and my life has been devastated by abortion.
I have had three abortions, because I didn’t think I had any other choices. I remember them as if it were only yesterday. I lay on the cold table with no anesthetic for the pain, staring at the ceiling, wishing I were someplace else. It seemed to last forever and the pain was unbearable. No amount of anesthetic could have dulled the pain in my heart and mind.
The types of abortions I had were the vacuum aspirator method. I could hear by the increased labor of the suction machine when a part or limb of my baby was being extracted. Each time I tried to look at the jar with my babies’ remains they would push me back down. To this day, I still hear that haunting suction sound.
When it was finished I was sent to a waiting room with the other girls. I was given a cup of juice and told I could leave in 20 minutes if I felt alright. I told them I felt fine, when in fact I had never felt worse. I just wanted out of there. On the drive home I was in extreme pain and bleeding profusely. I called them for help, but was told it wasn’t their problem, to call my doctor.
I realized I would never hold or see those three children. I became angry and depressed. I started drinking heavily, doing drugs and attempted suicide three times. My life was a mess, and it was because of the choices I had made.
Years later, with the loving witness of my parents, I made a good choice. I received Jesus as my Lord and Savior. Later I met and married a wonderful man. After trying to start a family with no success, we learned I was infertile because of the abortions. The suction from the vacuuum aspirator destroyed my tubes and ovaries.
I had to tell my husband that because of the bad choices I had made, he would not have his own biological children.
Why did that abortion doctor tell me my children were only a blob of tissue, and it would be safer to abort then to carry them to term?
Every day I live with the reality that the only children I will ever bear I killed.
Today I am still living with the effects of those abortions. Just two years ago, I had a hysteretomy because of the severe damage caused from the suction procedure.
The only way I have been able to live through this nightmare is that I have come to know my Lord Jesus Christ. He has forgiven me and set me free. 2Corinthians 5:17 says, “Therefore if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature, the old things are passed away; behold new things have come.”
There has never been a day that I don’t regret the “choices” I made to have those abortions, or think about those three children and who they would have been. Abortion didn’t solve my problems, it only created more. I am still a mother, it’s just that my three children are dead.
I want the world to know the horrible effects of abortion and how it destroys lives, so I WILL BE SILENT NO MORE.
Luana and her husband Steve have been married since 1985. They live in Davenport with their son, Zachary, whom they adopted from India when he was two years old. They attend and are in leadership at Calvary Church of the Quad Cities.